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Role-Playing Place » The Neighborhood » Stories » The Queen of the Night.
The Queen of the Night.
Dillon0909Date: Tu, 13.May.14, 8:58 PM | Message # 1
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(Inspiration has to hit me for the opening first)

I love Spooky Crap :D
 
Dillon0909Date: We, 14.May.14, 11:01 PM | Message # 2
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In harsh old desert town where the days of the old west still resonate inside there walls, a loud harsh breathing can be heard as well as the sounds of quick feet running across the sands in a frantic speed. The moon shines on the sand revealing there to be even more people behind the feet, who is running. The moon reveals more, that the victim is a girl, about in her early teens, with pale white skin and long flowing red hair. Her outfit was not made for the speed she was running, as it was a long flowing black dress with red lining, white stockings and black shoes with a red straps and golden belt buckle. She kept running being chased by three mysterious men who all were wearing a bizarre black trench coat with silver buttons, and this weird pointed hat. On their back was, what could only be described as a large sword, with a circular handle on its hilt. The girl picked up speed as the men were gaining on her. Sadly, her shoes eventually gave out and she tripped and fell. The men grabbed her and dragged her to an old gallows host. The men looked at her with such disgust, and tied the noose around her neck. One of them pulled out a book with this bizarre almost upside down triangle symbol with a pentagram in the middle. "Creature of the night" The man began reading allowed. "We hope your soul will be blessed by the Lord of Light to allow you a peaceful eternity." The girl was shaking at this point. "Your body may be tainted, your mind may be clouded, but your very soul shall be saved into everlasting light" The man motioned to one of his buddies and said "Midnight nears, when midnight is here, hang her." The other man nodded and waited patiently.

Nearby a woman in raven black hair, with a red headband, having a nightshade strapped to said headband, piercing red eyes, pale skin, two long ivory incisors that appeared as she yawned. She was in a black frilled tank top, had a white chocker, and had long black gloves on her hands, as well as black jeans and black worker's book. She was seated in a wooden chair that was crudely repaired despite being centuries old. She reached down and grabbed a brown lizard that was squirming. She was silent, then the woman casually popped off the lizard's head and started to squeeze it for its blood, draining the blood into a glass bottle. She then placed the corpse of the lizard into a pile of the corpses that she had on a plate as Vultures circled by. She stood up and went into one of the old dilapidated houses, and revealed a cabinet that was full of the same glass bottles that had the Lizard blood in it. She took one and took a drink casually, and looked around the thing and held a hammer and nails working on then side of the building, which revealed to be actually better looking then the most that existed in the town. She looked out the window and saw the girl about to be hung. She sighed and stood up.

The men looked at the girl and then the position of the moon. The girl was shaking terrified. "Madam, understand that we are doing this for your own good"

The girl screamed "How is this for my own good you Slayer jackasses!?" She said terrified. "Please I don't want to die this way, or any way, please don't do this to me!"

The "Slayer Jackasses" were basically ignoring her. "Its midnight" She then froze up in fear at that her time running out. One said "May the Lord of Light save you" She then was being hung, crudely so it was slow. The "Slayer Jackass" started to chant a ritual, and then all of a sudden the girl vanished. The "Slayer Jackasses" turned around in complete confusion. They then stopped and saw the woman from the desert.

She turned the moon making her red eyes glow a creepy glow. She looked at them and said "Slayers" She said rather coldly. "Why am I not surprised?"

One of the Slayers looked directly at her as the woman revealed she saved the girl. "You are interfering with our business...we are going to have to ask you politely to leave" He then said "Or we will be forced to terminate you"

Another Slayer said "Wait, that girl's eyes. She's another one of those creatures of then night. We have to save her too"

The Slayers all attacked at once as the woman said "Please" She jumped up, and suddenly the three men fell holding their sides like they were cut by a razor. The woman licked her hands, revealing her fingernails to be more claw like then she let on. She then kicked the heads of the three Slayers and walked to the girl freeing her. The girl was silent and confused "Yes, I'm a vampire too, now please leave"

The Vampire woman got up and walked back to the house, the girl now regaining her breath decided to follow her. She said to the woman "Hey wait up!" She said to the woman.

The woman sighed "I said go away already" She went to her house and slammed the door in her face.

The girl said "My name is Alexis Rose and you are?"
 
There was a loud sigh from the woman and she said to Alexis "My name is Rosaline, now please for the love of pete go away!" She said clearly annoyed. Alexis sat down by the door and looked at the moon. She then looked around town and spotted an old run down store and decided to go into the store and laid on the floor.


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
Dillon0909Date: Th, 15.May.14, 12:42 PM | Message # 3
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The sun rise and fell along the desert, and night fell once more. Alexis awoke to see a glass bottle of red liquid right next to her. She sniffed it, and determined it was blood, and took a drink. She paused and spat it out in pure disgust. "What is this crap?" She turned the bottle around, and it was labled with a white tag that had the word Lizard on it. She visibly gagged, then looked around for who delivered the bottle. She then sighed as she heard her stomach growling and decided to drink the blood again, even if it wasn't to her liking. There was a loud banging that was heard through out the desert, so loud Alexis tensed up hearing it. She slowly looked outside the store and looked to the left, then the right. She then heard the banging again, and decided to slowly look for the source slowly. She came to a large wooden house in the middle of two wooden houses. She started to make out that this house was being repaired slowly over time, like it was worked on every night. Alexis walked forward and gently opened the door, peeking in to see it was the woman from the night before, Rosaline. She was taking a hammer and nails to the door and kept working slowly. She paused and said "Why won't you just leave" She said to Alexis.

Alexis just game in and sat down, finding a second pair of tools and sat next to Rosaline. "Got no where else to go...I'm kinda on the run" She held a nail and started to help Rosaline hammer in the wooden board. Rosaline was quiet. "So what about you, why do you live in the desert by yourself, drinking that nasty crap "

"Mind your own business, nosy" was the first response from Rosaline. Rosaline then said "And its not nasty, after you got used to it, if you don't like it so much, just go" She said putting up a new board and had Alexis hold it. "So, I'm guessing you're on the run from the Slayers?" She said as Alexis hammered in another board

Alexis sighed and said "Actually, I'm on the run from my own coven" She said as she was hammering in. "Pass me another nail please?" Rosaline did so, and she continued. "The current prince found me to be quite a catch, and forced his father to do an arranged marriage." She then sighed "But the Prince didn't realize that I already have a more secret boyfriend one thing leads to another and he as well as the rest of my coven finds out so..." She finished the next board. "next thing I know I'm running for my life from my own coven because my little secret"

Rosaline said "Secret boyfriend eh? I'm guessing either he's a Slayer or a rival coven" She said like a know it all. She then got up and walked to the cuboard and got herself two glass bottles of the Lizard blood. Alexis's nose wrinkled, but she sighed taking it anyways. Rosaline then chugged the thing and sat back down, taking a break from house work. Alexis was taking sips, like a delicate little flower.

Alexis said "Actually, my boyfriends a lot stranger then that, but if I told you you'd probably be with my coven, madam" She said kinda nervous. "Lets just say, you can't really help who you fall for in life right?" She said rubbing the back of her head, nervous.

"So, I'm guessing because of what your boyfriend is, is the reason why you aren't hiding with him instead" Rosaline said getting up. Alexis sadly nodded. Rosaline sighed and walked downstairs and there was loud rattling heard. She walked upstairs and placed a rather quickly made coffin next to Alexis. "Don't get the wrong idea, you aren't staying with me." Rosaline said looking at Alexis. "But this will be better then sleeping on the floor in that store" Alexis nodded, even the coffin she brought up looked cramped.

Alexis nodded and said "Thank you" She then paused "So, is there anything you want to tell me about yourself?"

Rosaline said "I have one"  looking at Alexis, while pointing to a pitch black fancy looking dresser that looked out of place. The Dresser had a face mirror on it, and gold lining, with red handles. The thing looked pretty old, as some of the handles were missing, and some of the wood was cracked. "Stay out of that dresser, if I find out you snooped in it I'll beat you like a drum and hand deliver you back to your coven myself"

Alexis gulped in fear at that and said "Yes mam, where do...I stay?" Rosaline visibly pinched her head at that, then there was a loud sigh coming from that.

Rosaline then said "Hopefully with your boyfriend, so you're not my problem, but that's not going to happen anytime soon, so..." She sighed and looked around. "There's an old hotel near here, you can stay there" Alexis nodded and picked up the coffin preparing to move down the street seeing the hotel. Rosaline then said "One more thing...if you're going to be stubborn and live here, you're gonna have to work" She said looking at her. "When you put that coffin in the hotel, I want you to catch some lizards and drain their blood in some of the empty bottles" Alexis paused, not really knowing how. "Look it's easy" Rosaline said catching that. "You pop off their heads, and take two fingers next to the bottle, and drain it slowly so you don't get any meat in the bottles. You then leave the corpse on a place for the vultures" Alexis nodded and left.

Rosaline looked around and looked at the moon "I really hope I know what I'm doing here..." Rosaline said quietly. She was then interrupted by the sound of a howling wolf "Its a desert...there is no..." She paused "Oh no..."


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
Dillon0909Date: Fr, 16.May.14, 12:51 PM | Message # 4
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In a frantic panic Rosaline rushed to where the source of the howling was coming from. She was hoping she was wrong, and then saw Alexis sitting next to the door doing what Rosaline asked earlier. She sighed with a kind of relief, as she looked around hearing the howling again. She looked at Alexis and then walked towards the source as Alexis was to preoccupied with her chore to notice. She kept listening around and then heard the howls again, them being louder then they were before. She then looked around trying to find the source as she heard another howl. She then came to a stunning  realization. Whatever was out there, was hunting her like prey. She paused and closed her eyes  and decided to return the favor. There was a slight glow in her eyes, as the world began to silence around her.

There was only distant sounds now, the echoes of Alexis filling up the bottle of Lizard blood like she was told to do was one sound Rosaline heard. She then heard the sounds of heavy footprints in the sands, she started to make out the size of what was out there. It was as she feared, what was out there was massive, bulging with muscle, and raw animalistic power. With her hearing, she picked up that this thing was also hairy as there was the sound of sand bouncing in the hair as it was captured by the things running. Her eyes widened as the thing stopped revealing it stood on two legs, but ran on four, and was even taller then it let on. She then picked up the sand being picked up as the thing increased in speed. Rosaline turned towards the direction of the sound.

Suddenly and without warning a large hairy wolf like beast leaped at Rosaline. The thing was massive, about 10 feet tall at least, and six feet wide. It was bulging with just raw muscle not that anyone could tell as it was covered in a thick black fur. Its eyes were deficiently canine in origins. and it had its mouth open revealing two rows of razor sharp canines. The thing was attacking with its hands that had a deferent claw 6 inch claws coming from them. Rosaline moved out of the way of the creature's claw strike and then grabbed its jaws forcing them shut and slamming them to the ground. Rosaline said one word "Werewolf"

The Werewolf stood in its glory revealing its full 10 ft height looking at her with a dangerous glare. There was a defined growling coming from the beast, as it flexed its claws as a threat to rip Rosaline apart. Rosaline was silent as she watched the thing and put her fists up.

Alexis in the meanwhile heard the thud of the werewolf crashing against the sand and went to investigate. Her eyes then widened as she saw Rosaline's furry opponent. She knew that werewolf, she went to say something when the thing leaped at Rosaline who in a defense move moved under it, but the beast still slapped her through the hotel wall. Rosaline stood up and then kicked the werewolf in the face as it leaped at her. She stood in silence staring at the beast who sprang up with quickness. Rosaline undid her headband and put it down and then cracked her knuckles the beast did a horrifying roar and charged at her. She moved to the left and punched the thing in the gut, and then in the kicked the thing in the face sending the thing though the ceiling with her own natural vampire strength. The large wolf rebounded mid air and charged down punched Rosa in the face sending through the hotel wall again. She sprung back up and spit out some of her own blood. The wolf landed and glared at her.

There was silence as the desert winds blow, Rosaline put up her dukes and the Werewolf got on all fours. The Werewolf charged and clawed at her, as Rosaline moved to the left and kicked the thing in the face. The werewolf grabbed Rosa's leg and then slammed her down like a mere toy then flung her in the air. As Rosaline fell in mid air the thing went for a punch, when Rosa grabbed the things fist and then tossed it down. The Werewolf decided to start slashing at Rosa with its claws which forced Rosaline on the defensive backing into the wall of an abandoned building the thing slashed, and Rosaline ducked seeing the werewolf's claws ripping through the ply wood like a hot knife through butter. Rosaline uppercutted the beasts jaw and then grabbed its legs tripping it, and then rotating the thing rather quickly, launching the beast in the air. Rosaline then jumped and kicked the thing in the face sending it to the ground.

That only seemed to make the werewolf angry as it flexed its claws again. Rosaline put up her own nails, and the two went to resume their fight when Alexis stepped in the middle of them. To Rosaline's confusion, it caused both her and the Werewolf to stop mid strike and pull back. Rosaline was confused as Alexis turned to the Werewolf "Mason?"

It sniffed her, and Rosaline got ready to fight, when the werewolf licked her on the face, and then its muscles and frame changed. It started to shrink down to an average six foot height, and the muscles were more visible but less gargantuan. The things wolfish fur was shortened to blond hair on the werewolf's human form head. It was obviously male, and only had a pair of underwear for decency. The things eyes were now a steely blue and more normal. Mason, as Alexis called him, was now kissing Alexis on the lips, and Alexis was returning the favor. In confusion Rosaline asked "The freak is going on?"

Alexis turned ruby red and turned in a tenetive head. "Rosaline, this is Mason...he's my...boyfriend" She said rubbing the back of her head. "Mason, the lady you attacked is called Rosaline, and she's very nice, just a bit...harsh"

Mason paused "Oh...sorry"

Alexis said 'Mason" She said looking at him "Pants" She said motioning to  Mason's underwear only frame. Mason excuses himself and went behind the store. He came back with a pair of blue jeans, white shirt with a brown jacket, he had brown shoes was silent looking at Rosaline.

Rosaline sighed and said "Great now that your boyfriend is here, you can finally leave, the city isn't that far away."

Alexis said "Umm about that..."

"Oh no, no way" Rosaline quickly caught on that Alexis was asking if Mason could stay too.

Mason said "Madam, I can't exactly return to my pack with Alexis they'll skin her alive. I can't go to her coven because they'll skin me alive, so this is the only place we have left to go" Mason said quietly

Rosaline, not really hiding she was annoyed "You tried to KILL ME"

"I thought you were a member of Alexis's coven out to kill her" was Mason's response, as Rosaline was pinching her face

She sighed a deep sigh, and said "There is no way I can say no is there? Short of murdering you two" She sighed again and said "Fine" Alexis eeped in joy and kissed Mason who kissed back. "Don't get to sappy" Rosaline said quickly as they both suddenly stopped. "I have three rules for you two now that you are so happily reunited." She held up one finger "One, if you two got to fuck or something like that" That got them both to blush "Keep it in the hotel, and quiet, I don't need to hear what your orgasms sound like" She held up a second finger. "Two, Mason you have to follow the same rules as Alexis"

Mason asked "What rules?"

Alexis said 'If we live we work here, we do whatever Rosaline says. Two, we do not open the black dresser in her house, otherwised we may be practically gift wrapped to my coven or your pack" Mason gulped quietly at that

Rosaline held up a third finger. "You both live in the hotel, no ifs ands or buts about it. If you don't like it, fix it up yourself' Rosaline turned and said "Now then Mason, you can start by taking some ply wood and fix the damaged you caused!" She said not really hiding she's annoyed and went inside her house.


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
NarutardDate: Sa, 17.May.14, 9:40 AM | Message # 5
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So. Your story. It's good, but rough. You plop all of your descriptions into one big sentence. To describe Rosaline, in one big chunk you say:

"Nearby a woman in raven black hair, with a red headband, having a nightshade strapped to said headband, piercing red eyes, pale skin, two long ivory incisors that appeared as she yawned. She was in a black frilled tank top, had a white chocker, and had long black gloves on her hands, as well as black jeans and black worker's book"

Why not instead try something more like this:

Not far in the distance, a woman was sat out on her porch almost blending in with the night. Had it not been for her pale white skin reflected in the moon, she would have been invisible to the eye. Her fingers created a distinct pop and a lizard head bounced into the middle of the street. She squeezed gently and the blood within fell into a glass bottle. After the lizard had bled out, she dropped it onto a plate with a sigh. Her bright red eyes pierced through the dark, locked onto the scene before her. She yawned slowly, the two sharpened incisors that made her what she was exposed to the open air. She readjusted the headband in her hair, making sure the nightshade was accessible before she stood. She kicked her boots against the porch frame to get the dust off as she wiped her hands on her jeans. Time to play hero.

Another thing. You use the phrase "She then" a lot. You don't have to. You simply need a subject and a verb. "Her eyes widened" is so much better and more slowly than "Her eyes then widened". "Then" is unnecessary. Also watch certain phrases, you tend to use the same phrase more than once too close to each other.

You also completely floored me when you threw the word fuck in there. I wasn't expecting it and it wasn't necessarily the right context. Cuss words aren't necessary, and when you use them, it should add to the scene, create tension, not just "if ya gotta fuck be quiet" and then you sent it further by bringing up orgasms. I felt like the whole tone of the story shifted after that, it just bugged me.

Always, always, always call your characters by their full names and refer to them as he or she, not thing. Saying Rosa in the narrator context is a no no, calling Mason a thing, don't do that.

Overall though, I'm excited to see where you're gonna go with this.


Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
 
Dillon0909Date: Sa, 17.May.14, 2:58 PM | Message # 6
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(I was trying to add some humor with the fuck line, since its been so deadpan serious, but it was a bit of a tone shift so, I'll try to keep the tone a bit more consistent the next time. Thank you for your helpful criticisms)

There was a growl of annoyance as Mason plopped down a big pile of plywood. Three days he's been here, three days he's been forced to work for that slave driver Rosaline, three days of always hearing Alexis tell him that it's okay that she works them both like, pardon the pun, dogs because she is basically letting them live there, and its far away from her coven and his pack. Still Mason had to lament on just how much backbreaking labor Rosaline was inflicting on him, particularly making him fix the damage caused by his fight.  It takes two to fight, why should he be the only one doing this. All Rosaline does is give him and Alexis a chore, and then goes into her house. Mason bet that all she does in there is sit there and do nothing, or just work on her own house while Alexis and him do her work she's to lazy to do. Mason said out loud "I really can't stand that woman"

Alexis said, catching that. "Oh god Mason not this crap again, she's not so bad" Alexis said working on fixing up the hotel. If Mason and Alexis are going to live here, Rosaline suggested that Alexis fix up the hotel, particularly their room. Alexis said "Yeah, she's a bit of a hardass, but at least she's nice to basically let us live here with just doing a few chores. Besides, we can finally be somewhere where we don't have to hide the fact we are dating, isn't that enough?" Alexis said with a smile

There was strong sigh that came from Mason and said "I can't really say no to that." He hammered in the next bit of ply wood. "It's just, Rosaline smells off"

Alexis laughed "Well darling she's lived in this place for a long time." She said still laughing "I don't think you'd smell the best if you've been in a desert for as long as she has" Alexis said chuckling.

Mason said "That's not it, she smells...evil" Mason said with a dead paned serious look that got Alexis to immidiatly stop laughing. "Yeah...I'm serious" Mason said responding to Alexis's question before she asked it.

Alexis had to ask "Define evil" Alexis said quietly, feeling like they were being watched.

"Like cruel smelling" Mason said also looking around. Alexis guided him back into the hotel after that. "What's up?"

Alexis said "Something's been on my mind about Rosaline too" Alexis put her fingers together drumming nervously. "About that dresser" Alexis said quietly. "Why is that her one rule that would get us killed? Why is the thing pitch black, why does it look so prestine and regal compared to the town?" Alexis started to list. "I can't say it hasn't crossed my curiosity once or twice" Alexis asked "Anything else "off" about her?"

Mason nodded "Her tone, it's very faint and I only picked it up because of my instincts. Its full of anger and..."

Alexis interrupted and said "Rosa has kind of made it clear that she doesn't really like us being here."

Mason finished his sentence and said "Regret" He then said "Like she's being tormented by something she did, and now we're here making it worse"

"Well, maybe we should talk to Rosa some time." Alexis said quietly, Mason shook his head, and Alexis slowly realized that the idea while nice, won't work because if it is something she regret, Rosaline wouldn't exactly tell two kids she barely likes."

Mason said "I think maybe she's a fugitive or something, hiding out here because no one would try to find her in the middle of a wild west town" Mason said listing off his theory. "That's my theory, how about you?"

"A former Coven leader who is in hiding from her enemies" Alexis said listing her theory. "Think about it, she's really powerful, and no vampire would ever think about actually living here because of how sunny it is during the day" Alexis had another theory in her mind, but kept her mouth shut.

Quickly picking up on it, Mason asked "You have another theory?" He said so casually

Alexis sighed "Damn your animal instincts Mason" She sighed "Well, its the biggest stretch, but have you ever heard of the Queen of the Night?" Mason shook his head no. "I wouldn't think so," Alexis said quietly. "it's an old vampire's tale about the worst tyrant to ever befall our race" She sighed "You see, how vampire hierarchy works is this, there are loners, coven members, coven royalties, and finally the Souverain." She said quietly "The Souverain are the head of all vampires, they institute the laws and how much humans you are allowed to drink for the year" Rosaline said "But the Sourverain weren't the first vampire heads. They are the second, the first was the Crudele." She then said "They were a fair a balanced rulers, according to my Coven King." She then said "Until, she came"

Mason asked "The Queen of the Night?"

Alexis nodded "Yeah, the Queen of the Night, started out like all the others.  She was kind, sweet, and a true model for all vampires." Alexis then looked at her hand. "Then she unlocked it..."

Confusion filled Mason's face, as he asked "Unlocked what?"

"You see in times of old, before it was deemed as unnecessary, Vampires had a secondary form, like werewolves called the True Vampire Form.Its very powerful, only rivaled by a Werewolf's transformation at the full moon. However the price is, the subtly of living in the shadows is gone, as you do look like a true cruel monster" Alexis then said "It was deemed to powerful for them modern age, as a result the True Vampire form died out about the 1800s. It wasn't banned though, it was just deemed to be unnecessary for beings that live in the shadows." She sighed "It became banned however" Alexis said looking at Mason "When the Queen of the Night unlocked it"

Mason asked "So the power went to her head?"

Alexis nodded "Absolute power corrupts absolutely" Alexis said "It was subtle, then slowly over time she became more crueler and insane, believing herself to be invincible, and for a while she was." Alexis looked at her hand. "According to my Coven's King, she started to execute anyone who did the tiniest crime." Alexis looked out the window at Rosaline, who was watching her in silence. "Then she started to execute at random for example"

Mason gulped quietly, also seeing Rosaline looking at them. "Go on, what happened" He said having his arm at Alexis's wrist ready to run.

Alexis said "Well sometimes when you step on people hard enough, they decide that you need to be stepped on too. Her coven, and several other covens revolted against her and slayed her, according to my Coven Leader" She then said "However, that always bugged me"

"Why? It seems like she was an oppressive queen and she lost her power because she stepped to hard' Mason said so bluntly "Why does it sound so strange?"

"Because no one knows her name" Alexis said straight to Mason's face. "If she were to have died, people would know her name because of some piece of evidence that says her name. She is just known as the Queen of the Night." She said "There is this rumor that when the rebels were storming the castle, the Queen ran for her life never to return" ALexis looked right at Rosaline who was walking towards the hotel. Alexis gulped "And, I always thought that made more sense"

Rosaline opened the door to the hotel, then their rooms. Alexis and Mason were frozen in fear, as Rosaline walked to them. She lent down and picked up a hammer and said "If you two are done being lazy, go back to work" Alexis and Mason were silent as Rosaline walked out.

She went home and closed the door, and covered the window with a curtain. She walked to the black dresser and opened the top drawer, revealing a golden crown that was covered in jewelry most notably a red ruby. Rosaline felt the ruby in her hand for a few seconds, then closed the drawer with the crown inside of it, and went back to work on her wall in silence.

Type text or a website address or translate a document.CancelSee also: [url=javascript:void(0)]king[/url]


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
EquinoxDate: Su, 18.May.14, 10:53 AM | Message # 7
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Quote Dillon0909 ()
Type text or a website address or translate a document.CancelSee also: [url=javascript:void(0)]king[/url]
(Bottom of your post, just fyi.)


A sane man in an insane world will go insane.
 
Dillon0909Date: Tu, 20.May.14, 11:00 AM | Message # 8
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(I'll keep that in mind)

Far from the tiny desert town where Rosaline, Mason, and Alexis live, across the desert that surrounded it, through the forest, and on a mountain top stood a massive castle, that was covered in an eerie fog. Inside the sound a fingers drumming could be heard echoing throughout the castle, as nervous looks from various looking people watch a throne in silence. They backed up as they heard the sounds of heavy boot steps, and a long cape dragging across the floor, the sound of a wine glass being filled echoed throughout the now silent throne room. Every step echoed like drums in the minds of the people watching something moving. The throne buckled slightly as whatever it is plopped into the chair. A sound came from the throne and it said "So, did you find the love of my life yet?" was all that was said out of the man who is revealed to be the one the people were staring at. His face was as pale as the snow, say for two red eyes, that like Rosaline and Alexis, had a slight red glow to them. The people there were shivering in fear, as the man said "Well?"

Someone spoke up and said "Well Prince Silas, umm Miss Alexis was revealed to have an umm werewolf boyfriend. We figured it was time for a more worth love of your life" The man quickly covered his mouth now frightened as Silas stood up.

He walked to the man that spoke up and said "The Werewolf is clearly bullying her into a relationship, she is not there willingly, when she told me, it was a desprete plea to save her. So please, tell me where she is"

A woman said "My fair prince, we do not know we figured you would be as disgusted with her as us" She said quietly

"I told you, she needs my help, and like a true prince I will save her" Silas said drinking his blood in the wine glass. "She is going to be my wife after all."

Another one of his servants spoke up. "What if," The maid started to say. "What if Alexis went to her "boyfriend" willingly" She said trying to be quieter.

"If that's the case, I have to work harder to not only save her from that foul beast, like the true galient prince I am, but I also must show here why our kinds can never truly be at peace" Silas said with a small amount of pride.

Then silence erupted the courtroom as the door burst open. There was a man standing in the door way with a gun on his side, and a gun on his back. He had a black leather jacket, black leather pants, and black boots. He walked forward and there was metal clinging against the stone floor, revealing he was wearing spurs. He had a distinct accent with his voice. "Prince Silas" He said with a drawl. "Your girl got away from me, disappeared around that old desert town, I think it's called Boon or something like that." He sighed and said "Didn't go to the town itself, because I could sense holy magic, which means she's probably dead."

Silas said "Reven if she can out run my best tracker" He said as he stood up. "I doubt that she died due to some Slayers. She's alive and at that town" He then walked to him. "We should go and save her, now doubt that's where that foul beast lives, as well. There's also the possibility that there are more Slayers near the town, if that's the case we should slay them as well"

Reven said "Understood my prince, your future wife will be with you soon." Silas nodded and they both walked out.


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
Dillon0909Date: Th, 22.May.14, 1:35 AM | Message # 9
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Back in the deserts Rosaline, Alexis, and Mason were planting Cactus's in silence together. The feeling of questions were prominent throughout the whole session. Mason and Alexis only want to know who Rosaline is, and what's in the Black Dresser she strictly banned from them. Rosaline had questions too but she decided to keep her mouth shut since they've been so polite as to not ask any questions. Alexis planted another seed, and then she noticed something she hadn't really seen before. A nightshade, something not native to a desert was in Rosaline's headband. Alexis asked "Is that Nightshade real?"

Rosaline turned to Alexis, in silence finally getting a word out of the two. Rosaline said "Yeah, it's real" She then planted another cactus tree.

Mason then said "How is that possible? Nightshade is A one of the most poisonous plants in the world, and B. can't grow on a desert." He then planted a cactus down in the ground

"I have experience growing Nightshade" Rosaline said as she watered the cactus from a water gained from a nearby water pump.

Alexis asked "Really, when?" She asked so casually, Mason looked at Alexis like she was insane.

There was an uncomfortable silence the emanated from Rosaline. She felt the Nightshade in her hand for a little bit, and then said "I used to have an entire garden of Nightshade" She sighed with small, rare, smile on her face. "It was the best thing about..." She paused looking at the two. 'About before, I lived here" She said watching the two's reactions. "Now that garden is a potted plant in my house" Rosaline said looking at the two.

Getting tired of being subtle, Mason decided to get straight to the point. "Miss Rosaline, where did you used to live before the desert?"

"Mason!" Alexis scolded. She pinched her forehead and said "Sorry, Rosaline, he shouldn't have asked that...you'll tell us when you are ready"

Rosaline then sighed "So that's what's been up with the silence for the past couple of days" She said looking at you two. "Don't worry about it Alexis, it was bound to happen, I just didn't think this soon" She then said "We're done with the cactus's." She said to the vampire and werewolf couple. "I would rather keep out personal business to ourselves, but you two aren't going away any time soon, so, I guess I have no choice but to answer some questions, but turn about is fair play."

Alexis and Mason both looked at her in silence. Rosaline motioned her to her house, which was a minor mystery to Mason and Alexis as well. The old wooden door opened and Alexis and Mason were let inside. They were sat a table, which was set right by the door and they gazed upon their surroundings. The house looks like it's been worked on and repaired quite frequently, and looks about close to what it did back in the old west when it was used. There is a coffin standing right side up, that was made rather recently, compared to everything else in the town, so Mason and Alexis assumed Rosaline made it. There was a hanging pot with nightshade in it, and water that was in a bucket underneath it. In the bucket was a glass bottle, that was probably used to water the plant itself.  To the left of the table were cabinets, with knife marks that spelled out word, all of different animals, and one labeled human. Each cabinet, other than human, had a glass bottle that had red liquid inside of them, which was probably the blood of whatever animal inside of them.

However, all of this was poultry compared to the biggest sight in the room. The Black Dresser sat prominently in the back right next to Rosaline's coffin, and it was truly the oddest thing in the house. For one thing it was more regal looking then the rest of the house, and it was was indeed pitch black, say for some golden designs on the drawers, and red ruby doorhandels. It was an oddity to say the least. On the dresser was another potted Nightshade plant, and frame for a mirror, but the mirror itself was long gone.

Alexis looked at Rosaline who just sat down and said "Okay, lets have some ground rules." Rosaline started. "One, no asking what's in the Black Dresser." She then said "That's it"

Mason said "Don't get to personal with my questions" to Rosaline who nodded

Alexis then said "I have nothing to hide, so I don't need any ground rules"

Mason started and said "Where did you live previously?" Was the first question asked to Rosaline.

Rosaline sighed "The kingdom of the Queen of the Night" She said with no pausing. She then said "Why did you really run from home?" to Alexis.

Alexis said "The Prince of my coven, Prince Silas won't take no for an awnser, even after I told him several times I was with someone at the time" She sighed "When he found out it was a werewolf, I ran for my life, ended up running into some Slayers, and then you know what happened"

Alexis asked "Did you know the Queen of the Night?"

Rosaline nodded "Yeah, we were close"

Mason asked "How close?"

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room, where eventually Rosaline said "I was one of her servents" She said, with a barely noticible glance down. "I was loyal until she went to far"  She then said "Getting off topic it's my turn" She then said "Why are you even here Mason?"

Mason sighed "Well other then wanting to be here for the woman I love" He said holding Alexis's hand. "When I heard rumors about a vampire being hunted by other vampires, I just knew it was Alexis." He sighed "So I went to find her, and my pack wasnt' happy so I got kicked out." He smiled "She's all I have left, and she's all I need"

Alexis kissed his cheek. "Aww you big lug" Rosaline sighed. "Anyways, mind if I go next?" Mason nodded that it was okay. "What made you think she went to far?"

Again there was this uncomfortable silence and eventually she said "The Queen of the Night was a monster, and not just because she was a vampire. When she started to execute at random it got bad, but then she really went to far." She sighed "There was this werewolf prince, he was like five, not even a threat. However, the Queen decided that he was a threat to her legacy, him and all his kind so she murdered every werewolf in that kingdom." She sighed "And publically executed the prince" Rosaline looked down. "That's when I decided that it went to far, and left, ending up here"

Alexis was silent looking at her reactions. "Dont' blame yourself Rosaline, nothing you could have said to her would have stopped her."

Rosaline sighed "Maybe not, but I could have tried." She then said 'This, questioning is over okay?" Mason and Alexis respectfully nodded.

Alexis said "You're a good person Rosa" She said giving her a small harmless friends hug. "Don't forget that' 

There was silence in Rosaline's house as they left. Rosaline stood up and sighed' "I really hoped they bought that" She said opening a small drawer in the Black Dresser revealing a lot of paper, that were all covered with writing. She opened one of the letters, and sighed reading it allowed to herself. "I, Queen Rosaline Crudele, AKA The Queen of the Night here by order the execution of Prince William the Third" She said quietly. "By hanging in front of the crowd." She sighed "After the execution bring this letter back to me"

She sat down in silence, as tears steamed from her eyes.


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Dillon0909Date: Fr, 23.May.14, 1:19 PM | Message # 10
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Three weeks passed in the desert, as things slowly shifted to a sense of normalcy. By day, everyone sleeps, and by night everyone is hard at work with a project. The awkward air that surrounded the town has disappeared as Rosaline's story did indeed help calm down Alexis and Mason, and things have gotten rather nice. Mason and Alexis even started to work on other parts of the area to make the town more livable. However, lately there is this feeling of being watched that came from Alexis. She told Rosaline about it and Rosaline said that it was probably Slayers, when they made their move, Rosaline and Mason would take care of it. That did ease nerves, but she still felt something was off.

Nearby on the mountain top, two figures stood in silence, one having a large sniper rifle on his back, and the other looking like it had a long flowing black cape. The two figured looked at each other and walked down the cliff. The sun rose and set over the town, the night began a new and Rosaline like usual awoke first, and grabbed a lizard blood glass bottle and took a drink, then went out with her tools to get Mason and Alexis per her new usual norm. She walked out of the room and then paused. It was quiet, usually the sounds of lizards scurrying across the sands filled the air, but there was nothing. There was complete silence.

Rosaline closed her eyes and then jumped back using her vampire speed from a bullet. She looked in the direction of the bullet and saw a man in a large old western outfit. He had a black duster coat with a rifle holster on it's back, a garret revolver in a pistol holder, and a knife on his other side and holder. He had black boots, with spurs, and amusingly to Rosaline, a large cowboy hat. She then looked at his eyes. They were an unnatural red, like her's and Alexis's. She then laughed slightly. "A vampire cowboy, now I've seen everything"

The man said "I am Reven of the Alvani vampire coven. Prince Silas demands that his future bride, future Queen Alexis Rose, now release her from your vile clutches or die" He said having the sniper aimed at him.

Rosaline looked at him and said with some snark. "Do you hear yourself?" She then saw the guy up close and got punched in the face.

Reven said in retaliation. "Yes I do, and I sound like a knight how is loyal to his prince" He said as Rosaline was launched through one of the buildings

The crashing woke up Mason and Alexis. Alexis looked out the window and saw Reven walking towards Rosaline. She turned to Mason and said "Mason, come on we gotta help Rosa, that's Reven, the Knight of the Alvani coven." They both got up, and then Mason was punched through the wall of the hotel. Alexis ran to him through the rubble. "Mason!" She checked his pulse. "Oh thank goodness"

She then turned and her eyes widened in horror. The was a man standing there with a deep blue hair, a black fancy suit, and a long black cape. His eyes were a ruby red like Alexis and Rosaline's. However there was a different glow, only slightly found in Rosaline's eye, the look of authority, of a ruler. Alexis said "Prince Silas, I told you no"

Silas then said to Alexis. "You don't have to lie any more, I'm here to save you" He said with a coy smile. He offered his hand out and Alexis slapped it away.

Alexis said "I told you before! I love Mason, please find another bride."

He glared and said "You're the only bride for me!" He said shouting at her. "That mongrel will hurt you, and leave you all alone, that is how their kind works!" Silas said oozing disgust from his mouth. "Those disgusting monsters..."

Alexis finished his sentence. "are the same race as the man I love" Silas glared at her with pure anger, but calmed himself before he did something rash. "Silas, you're usually so sweet, inspite of your irrational hatred of Werewolves. So I'll try this the best I can, peacefully." She helped Mason up, who glared, but Alexis shook her head and he looked away. "I love Mason, I don't care that he's a werewolf, I love him" She then said "I'm sorry but, to be honest Silas, I don't like you like that."

Silas glared at her, then took a deep breath closing his eyes. "I was afraid of this."

"We can still be friends" Alexis said with a small smile "Besides, maybe hanging around Mason for a few days will make you see that werewolves aren't as bad as..." Alexis got interrupted by Silas punching her in the face knocking her out.

Mason glared "What?!" Mason glared at Silas. "Back off"

Silas turned and said "Begon beast, this is none of your concern."

Silas said "Do you really thing she loves you, you are a terrible evil creature of darkness, a beast of the night" He glared and said "How could she ever love you?"

Silas got punched out of a window by Mason, whose arm was bulging. He leaped at Silas in his werewolf form, the latter of whom roling and dodging. Mason growled as Silas watched him.

Elsewhere Rosaline and Reven where in a duel, of sorts. Reven had his knife out and Rosaline was dodging it with ease. Reven did a downward slice, making Rosaline dodge to the left, and then punch Reven in this face, causing him to drop the knife. Reven then kicked Rosaline away, and Reven went to pick up the knife. Before he could Rosaline kicked him away from it. Fed up, Reven pulled out his revolver and just started to shoot at Rosaline. Rosaline got into cover and then grabbed a lump of sand. Using her vampire speed, she ran behind Reven, when he turned around to fire, he got sand in his eyes for his trouble.

Rosaline grabbed the rifle and the revolver and tossed it away, Reven glareing at  her and put up his fists. Rosaline went to punch him again, and then was punched back by Reven. She glared as she went for a kick, when Reven grabbed her foot and slammed her to the ground. He then tossed Rosaline in the air, and mid fall he decked her in the side sending her crashing down. Reven hmphed and walked to Rosaline, who jumped back up.

Rosaline said "You're strong"

Reven said "I know"


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
Dillon0909Date: Fr, 23.May.14, 8:24 PM | Message # 11
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Rosaline jumped back from Reven's fist, and she glared at him, as he punched his fist together as a taunt. Meanwhile back with Mason and Silas, Mason was clawing at Silas, who was dodging every strike that he was getting thrown at. Silas grabbed Mason on the mouth and then tossed him into the sand, which did little to cushion the blow. Silas turned to Alexis as Mason jumped at him again. Annoyed Silas kicked Mason away with such force it launched Mason pretty far. Silas walked to Alexis, who was still knocked out when Mason came barreling at him. Silas grabbed Mason's arms as the force from Mason's strike caused Silas to slide in the sand, but still stand. "What is with you beast!?" He said not hiding his aggravation. "Do you really think she loves you!?"

Mason growled and punched Silas who moved his head and then monkey flipped him to the ground.  Mason sprung back up, and Silas sighed as he turned to Mason. Mason glared and clawed at the sands in defiance.

Back with Rosaline and Reven, Reven and Rosaline were in a heated duel with each other, both using vampiric speed and power to clash with each other speeds that were blinding, creating slight booms with their fists and legs connecting with each other. Rosaline ducked down from a fist, and rammed her shoulder into Reven staggering him back. She then coiled her fist back and decked Reven in the face sending him away, Reven gripped the ground in anger. He stood back up and hmphed at her, as he put his fists back up. Rosaline put her fists back up and they went at it again.

Mason clawed at Silas who was clearly the more nimble of the two as he moved to the left, and punched Mason in the snout. Mason grabbed Silas and tried to fling him, but ended up getting flung himself into the old town jail. Mason gripped the bars and ripped one of. Silas walked in the direction of Alexis, and then got smacked by Mason for this trouble. Mason gripped the bar and started to attack with savage ferocity, swinging the thing around like a wild animal bent on carnage. Silas however, was just to fast as he eventually kicked the back out of his hand, then kicked Mason in the chest. This staggered the werewolf enough to be kicked under the chin sending him in the air, and back down in his human form.

Silas sneared in disgust and turned, then felt a hand grip his ankle. Silas turned and looked down to see it was Mason, battened, bloodied, but still ready to fight. "Let go beast" He said as he tried to kick Mason off, but couldn't

Mason glared and said "I'm not giving up until you do" He said gripping tighter, Mason then tried to trip as Silas turned and lifted his foot and started to kick Mason on his face, but still couldn't keep his grip.

Reven was having trouble with Rosaline now, as she finally started to get the advantage. Reven then decided that enough was enough and statyed to dodge Rosaline's fists. He kept dodging and dodging until he reached a Garrett Revolver. He aimed the Revolver and shot Rosaline point blank, and then turned to Mason, who was still getting his head kicked in by Silas as Rosaline fell to the ground stunned

(For this moment please listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdWCLT7kccY )

Rosaline however, saw how determined Mason was, and then closed her eyes. Her eyes closed, and then there was silence, so much silence that even Silas and Reven had to stop  what they were doing as they turned, as they saw bats, not just a few, not just more then a few, but the whole swarm suddenly come out of no where, as the bats surround her. There bats screeched hand hissed as they lifted her in a bizarre look. Her eyes, closed from being stunned by the gun shot sudden opened but they were different. They weren't just red, they were complete red, as in the entire eye. She looked down at them as she looked at her finger nails turned into short and claw like. Her body twisted and contorted, as her skin went from a normal vampire pale to stone cold grey. She landed and two large bat wings sprouted from her back. She looked up, and even her fangs were different, now instead of then normal Vampire teeth, the two long ivory incizors made for sucking blood, they were all razor sharp like a shark's teeth. The bats slowly lowered her, as Alexis looked on in horror.

Alexis knew what this was, there was no denying it, that was true vampire. That means...

In a flash, Rosaline was right next to Reven, who turned to shoot her. Rosaline stood there as Reven unloaded his clip into Rosaline who smirked as the bullets were pushed out of her body, and the wounds slowly healed. Rosaline then lifted her hands and not only claw strike Reven, but launched him half way across the entire desert. She grabbed Silas by the neck and brought him to her face. She then backed up and launched Silas the same distance. She then again was surrounded by bats, and then suddenly was right next to Silas and Reven, who were flung about the same distance. Rosaline picked them both up by their necks and bashed them together. She then said "Stay off my property, if you ever come back" She brought them to her face. "I'll kill you!" She said in such a commanding, authoritive tone. She backed up and then booted them away as far as she could. The bats surrounded her again, as she was back with Alexis and Mason who were looking at her in terror.

Rosaline winced as the wings shrank back into her back, and then fell to her knees, panting. There was silence as the footsteps of a friend approached. Rosaline looked up to see Alexis, who was shaking considerably, but still had her hand out in comradery. Rosaline gripped her hand and helped herself up. Rosaline said to Alexis and Mason. "Guess I have some...explaining to do"


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Dillon0909Date: Sa, 24.May.14, 3:28 PM | Message # 12
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There was a sound of silence as Rosaline, Alexis, and Mason were back in Rosaline's place. The footsteps of the now revealed Queen of the Night echoed throughout the house, as she walked to the Black dresser she coveted so much. A hand gripped the thing, as slowly she opened the dresser revealing a gold crown covered with jewels most notably a big red ruby on the top, and then she placed it down at her seat. She then pulled out a long flowing red and black dress, and put it on a hanger, then put the hanger on a nail behind her chair. Alexis and Mason watched in silence, either out of morbid curiosity, or fear of what the infamous Queen would do. Rosaline then opened up a cabinet marked vulture, and then sat down with a bottle of red liquid, which one could assume is vulture blood. She sat down and opened the bottle. She then took a deep breath and said "So, you're not idiots...you know who I was." She then took a drink "The question is, what are you going to do? Are you going to run or fight?"

There was a look of confusion on Alexis's face as she looked at Rosaline. "Rosa...what are you talking about?"

There was an aura of sadness from Rosaline as she said "You're not the first to find out," She said looking down, not really faceing them. "Each time they either run, and tell people which starts that rumor, or they fight, and I have to kill them" She looked up. "Please be the first...and just run..."

There was silence as Rosaline looked up and then something Rosaline didn't expect as she then felt a warm embrace. She looked up in stunned silence, as she looked to see Alexis, and Mason both hugging her. Rosaline was in such shock she couldn't speak. Alexis said "Rosaline, you gave me a place where I can love Mason without having to hide it. You gave me a big sister I never really knew I wanted. Why would I want to lose that?"

Mason said "Don't get me a wrong, I still think you're a hardass." He said as a joke, and Rosaline gave him a playful glare. "But, what you've done for me and Alexis, is more then anyone could have asked." Rosaline had tears in her eyes, as they both held tighter. Rosaline finally unleashed a fountain of tears of joy. Mason then said "Don't get us wrong, we got questions but we're not going anywhere...right Alexis?"

Alexis smiled "Right" They both broke the hug as Rosaline wiped her eyes

Rosaline said 'Thank you...thank you so much" She took a deep breath. "Okay, now that we can talk honestly, what do you want to know?"

Alexis said "How much were the legends about you true?"

"All of it" Rosaline said to Alexis in a response, that got Alexis to looked at her stunned. "Every terrible thing you've heard about the Queen of the Night was true. So much blood on my hands, it's been almost two hundred years and I'm still trying to wipe it all off" She then sighed. "Even then, I don't think I can ever be clean, after all, things like that...don't just get forgiven"

Mason then asked "Well why did you do the things you did, and more importantly, what changed you?"

"Mason, let me put it to you like this" Rosaline said in response. "When I became Queen, I was the youngest Queen in the history of the Cruelde family, at 21, where I decided to set my age. I had many older coven members who wanted my throne, because they couldn't stand being ruled by a child. I thought at first if I would kill them with kindness, be not only as good as my father, but better. I would do things that no one else could accomplish. I could become the first Queen of all Vampires to make peace with our Werewolf neighbors. That was the plan at least." She then sighed "Then, I was attacked by an assassin" She said looking up. "He was sent by one of the covens, and I barely survived. It was then I had to make a choice, and my choice was to get more powerful" She looked down. "So I trained to for years to unlock True Vampire." She sighed "When I did, something changed in my mind as well, I became the most powerful vampiress in decades, and then I had a fear that, the only place I can go is down" She put her hands together and started to play with her thrones. "So I decided to validate my rule, show I'm the most powerful by using any means necessary to keep my rule in tact" She looked up. "I executed, not only the assassin, but his employer and his entire coven publicly." She looked at them. "That was the day, I became the Queen of the Night, because once you decide who lives and who dies, you eventually develop a god complex"

Mason gulped as Rosaline continued. "When I told you two that the execution of the werewolf prince saved me I meant it" She then looked down. "I heard rumors that the Werewolves were about to start a rebellion, and being what I was, I didn't take any chances. My forces captured the entire pack, and I went down there to find their alpha to make an example of him." She then sighed "Then his son, Prince William, asked me something that no one asked me in a while" She sighed "He simple asked me, why do I need to do this?" She looked down. "I didn't have an awnser, I said to him it was to stop a rebellion, but he then he asked "Why the whole pack?" the tears of guilt flooded Rosaline's eyes. "I was silent, and he asked again, I still had no answer. I left that dungeon and I started to ask myself why the whole pack." Tears hit the wooden table. "I couldn't come up with an answer, at all I couldn't say anything that didn't sound crazy." She sighed "The execution went on as planned, but it still haunted my mind, for months afterwards I paced in my throne room, trying to make sense of it" She sighed "And I couldn't" She then took a drink of the vulture blood. "That when the weight of what I've done hit me, all the horrible deeds all the murders, tall the blood of the innocent that was on MY hands because I wanted to just prove a point" The tears kept falling more frequently. "I heard rumors that packs of werewolves made truces with covens of vampires to stop me." She sighed "So I let the rumors fester, I let them build steam, I let them start a rebellion against me" She sighed "While they were doing that, I was packing, heading for this town, because it was the one place no one would think to look for me. I locked away my crown, my dress, and a knife, to make sure that the Queen was locked away."

Rosaline said "I put a fake of me in my throne room, made out of the corpse of a victim I made, and left my kingdom, heading for here, so I may never harm anyone again"

Alexis held her again and held her close. "Rosaline, we won't judge you if you let it out" Rosaline couldn't hold it in and started to openly sob, as while Alexis held her, Mason was patting her back. "Rosaline, you've change so much since then. That person you were describing wouldn't have let two kids live with her" That did nothing, as Rosaline still sobbed. "You're a good person and a great friend, and I will never forget that"

Mason then said "Neither will eye as a response." He smiled "You gave us a home, Rosa, and we can never forget that"

Rosaline looked up at them, and then said "Thank you" She cleared her throat and said "You two can go back to the hotel now, I'll be fine"

Alexis said "We can, but we won't" Mason smiled and left the room, then came back with a double bed. Alexis smiled "We'll stay with you until the end"

Rosaline looked at than and said "Just for this night, but tommarow night, that goes back in the hotel" She said with a small smile as she walked to her coffin and stepped inside of it.

Elsewhere, at the Vampire castle Prince Silas and Reven came back and Prince Silas said, "This isn't over...Alexis needs to be mine"

Reven nodded "Yes Prince Silas"


I love Spooky Crap :D
 
NarutardDate: Mo, 26.May.14, 8:53 PM | Message # 13
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(The battle seems dragged on and on and I ended up skipping a little bit

Rosaline breaking down in tears seemed exceptionally out of character. At least that's what I got)


Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
 
Dillon0909Date: Mo, 26.May.14, 9:11 PM | Message # 14
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(Anything else?)

I love Spooky Crap :D
 
EquinoxDate: Mo, 26.May.14, 11:26 PM | Message # 15
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(You might want to space out your huge paragraphs from now on, trying to read those huge paragraphs on my little laptop is boring me from your story a bit. That's about the only problem I have, the story itself is mostly fine.)

A sane man in an insane world will go insane.
 
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