|
Pirate Island
|
|
| Narutard | Date: Th, 04.August.11, 7:51 PM | Message # 1 |
 The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| The seas have disappeared. Most of our ships are stuck in the sand of what used to be ocean. New continents have been formed but population has drastically fallen. Why? It rarely rains now and when it does, it's only near lakes and rivers. But, we of Pirate Island have created irrigation systems for our crops and easily domesticated animals for our meaty needs.
Pirate Island is one island of secen harbored in the one last ocean in the world, the Atlantic. No one really knows why, but it's led to rumors that the Americans, the ONLY prostering country, are the ones who stole the water of the world. Anyways, seven islands remain in the low water levels of the Atlantic ocean and they are all owned, well, ruled, by pirates. Our Pirate Island is ruled by Captain Phoenix, one of the Seven Scourges of the sea. Naturally, the other six islands are owned by the other Scourges.
Captain Phoenix is the youngest of the scourges, and suprisingly harbors the fieryist personality, hense the name. But the personality is only half of it, her bright red hair carries the name for her. Oh yeah, did I mention Captain Phoenix is a hirl? The only girl Scourge, 16 years old, and Captain of Pirate Island. We are her crew and now her colony, and we prepare for war. Captain Phoenix has angered the Scourges again and now we have to wage battles against all six crews of the most powerful pirates in the world. Personally, I'm not worried about us, the crew, we're trained and stubborn. The one I'm worried about is Captain Phoenix. She has to fight each and every Scourge and though she is a Scourge herself, she is the smallest, youngest, least experienced and, more importantly, a girl. But, all we can do is cheer her on and fight our own battles.
Xander, the Pirate, Lieutenant Captain
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 0:47 AM | Message # 4401 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
I smiled, leaning into him. "No...not for us..."
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 0:49 AM | Message # 4402 |
 Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| Natayla:
I sobbed, as Storm, Lizzie, and Jason were trying to comfert me. "I'm not worthy of being my fathers Daughter"
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 0:50 AM | Message # 4403 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| (goodnight)
Lizzie
"Come now, you know that isn't true..."
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 0:53 AM | Message # 4404 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| Natayla;
"My first mission...and Storm gets hurt, we get attacked by the navy, and we left with NOTHING"
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 4:00 AM | Message # 4405 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (sorry to do this to you Narutard)
Natayla;
As we started port, Storm was taken to a hospital by his parents, his sister and Cain going with them. Dad looked at me and asked a simple question "How was your first adventure?"
I sighed "Well...it was going great until we ran into the navy. Their captain followed me, and we fought him, but Storm got hurt. I wanted to...go on...since we were on Treasure Island and...I...wanted you to be proud of me...but Storm...I needed to help Storm. So, we left." I looked down, tears hitting the ground "I failed...I'm...I'm no pirate...I screwed everything up. Storm got hurt, we left there with nothing, and I'm just gonna keep..." I started to ramble, when I heard Dads Voice telling me to shut up
"Natayla, you failed...however I'm not dissapointed in you." he said to me, as I looked at him wide eyed. "You wanted to make me proud, and you did, by taking care of Storm." I said looking at her. "That shows you know how to put the crews saftey over your own." I walked to her and hugged her "Natayla, I want you to learn this lesson, the most. How one deals with failure, is more important than how one deals with victory. Sure, if you got the island with out any problems and came back with a ton of gold I would have been impressed, however, I'm more impressed with the fact despite your desire to succeed...you still chose to help Storm in his time of need. That's a good person, and thats the daughter your mother and I raised" He whiped the tear in my eye, and gave me a hug. I gave one back, as he comferted me.
We broke the hug after a while, and Mom said "Come on, why don't we have a nice family dinner together"
(k Narutard, its your turn for their final Childhood adventure)
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 7:13 AM | Message # 4406 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| (Hmm, oh, I have an idea, did I kill Reagan's uncle do you remember?)
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 1:49 PM | Message # 4407 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (no, no you didn't)
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Mo, 19.March.12, 5:12 PM | Message # 4408 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| (Schweet)
Dianne
The ship touched against the snowy desert expanse before us. I looked out, biting my lip. "Mom said...he was this way..." I mumbled, looking back at Storm, Cain, and Natayla.
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 0:27 AM | Message # 4409 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| Natayla:
I looked at her and smiled "Yeah...this is the spot"
Storm:
I walked with her "You sure about this?"
Cain:
I smiled and walked with Dianne hand in hand
(What do you thing of Terror of Crossover Island)
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 7:02 AM | Message # 4410 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| (It's pretty good and holds with lots of potential but your descriptions are lacking. In 3rd person, bounds are limitless, looks and settings have the best potential to be used so descriptively. As well as pay attention to the continuous fights you had going, they seemed a little repetitive and I nearly found myself skimming them. Beef them up and give them personality, give them emotion...sorry, I beta a lot of stories ^^')
Dianne
"Then let's go!" I said, pulling Cain ahead.
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 2:49 PM | Message # 4411 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (constructive critisim...I like that. Any suggestions?)
Cain:
I smiled as the rest of us followed her
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 8:51 PM | Message # 4412 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| (As in...?)
Dianne
After the first hour, I still had a little pep in my walk but as the second hour rolled around even I was dragging a little.
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 9:03 PM | Message # 4413 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (like ways I can approve)
Natayla:
I sighed and said "Dad said to take the sled..."I teased Dianne
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 9:32 PM | Message # 4414 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
"You shut up," I said, looking at her. "Hmph," I walked faster.
(What kind of suggestions like...what you can do or what...)
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:02 PM | Message # 4415 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (What I can do? Also new chapter)
Natayla:
I sighed and followed her "Wait..."
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:03 PM | Message # 4416 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
"What?"
(Well, you know the personalities of your characters?)
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:08 PM | Message # 4417 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (yeah)
Natayla:
"SOrry, its just...what if he doesn't like me that much?"
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:21 PM | Message # 4418 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
"Why wouldn't he..."
(Well...pull the character's traits into their fighting. Someone stubborn would fight stubbornly, such as relentlessly driving and never giving up, or a quiet fighter would always stand on the defensive, watching and waiting. Include their thoughts, their analyzations.)
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:23 PM | Message # 4419 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (k, you see the new part?)
Natayla:
I sighed and said "I'm not related to you"
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:30 PM | Message # 4420 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
"Neither is Cain," I shrugged.
(not yet)
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:34 PM | Message # 4421 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (darn, I'm really proud of it)
Natayla:
"But your his girlfriend...I just...don't know if he'd like me thats all"
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:39 PM | Message # 4422 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
"But your my brother's boyfriend," I said, only mocking her slightly.
(I'll get around to it sorry, fighting sleep already...)
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: Tu, 20.March.12, 10:51 PM | Message # 4423 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| (oh okay, Nvm than)
Natayla:
I sighed "I know its just..." I stopped "The last time I was here Storm got shot, you started to like me only to hate me again, and even Cain doesn't like me at this point. I'm a screw up"
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
| Narutard | Date: We, 21.March.12, 7:10 AM | Message # 4424 |
|
The Reaper of Threads
Group: Co-Dictators
Messages: 57234
Status: Off
| Dianne
"If I hated you, you wouldn't be here," I stated simply, walking on.
Tis now the very witching time of night when hell itself breathes contagion
|
| |
| |
| Dillon0909 | Date: We, 21.March.12, 12:26 PM | Message # 4425 |
|
Commander
Group: Administrators
Messages: 34688
Status: Off
| Natayla:
I walked with her, quietly. Storm shaking his head at my actions.
I love Spooky Crap :D
|
| |
| |
