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Main » 2012 » July » 13 » So
1:55 AM So |
well my thoughts have been so jumbled up that it isnt funny at all. i mean my highschool life wasnt even near perfect. i have failed in two of my relationships which ended badly. however its junior year and im kind of aching for a support from the opposite gender. problwm is i dont have many guy friends. most of them are just wave hi or ignore me. i dont have some close ones at all. which is a very big problem. so now i have a heartache for someone...and i just someone help me end this pain and love me for who i am. these days i feel lonely since its summer. if this was still school, i would have been hanging out with friends and such. summer is a pain when things become HOT and LONELY. i just want some comfort and maybe a crying shoulder to lean on. its painful to those have experienced love, but later just thrown away like trash. it hurts more than any feeling. what do i do now? i just want love and comfort with me. sometimes i wish i was still in school because of my friends in classes and lunches. not the case now. i wonder what i should do now? this is a dilemna. not only that, watching the two lovers blossom together is a pain. A roar of emotions surges through me. Jealousy, envy, sadness, frustration, happiness, and the occassional anger. i yearn to be loved and held closely.Sometimes when the sadness really hit me, i cry myself to sleep which takes a lot in order to be done. or maybe guys dont like a quiet girl. i dont talk much really and sometimes im bullied that way. is this too much to ask for out of a guy? why cant i be like them? why do i have to be so unlucky? i just want answers and maybe a guy. i sometimes wish i could be a talker. i mean not talk your ears off or anything. im just a silent girl that is full of pain and sadness. why? an ache for a good relationship and a long one. however i might not get that. i only have two years left of highschool before college hits. maybe i'll get better luck in college. for now, i will have to find a way to halt this pain and sadness of mine.
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